Day 6: Zero in Mt. Laguna

March 25th

Mileage 0

Miles 0

The water bottles are multiplying

The water bottles are multiplying. Scary!

Today Aaron and Nisa are driving home, and although the plan was to leave at 10 a.m., they don’t go until 2:30 p.m. We come up with various excuses to prolong their leaving. It’s hard to let him go. We’ve been together for a long time; we’ve spent virtually no time apart. And Nisa has been upset the whole trip. She doesn’t like that I keep disappearing, and I can’t help but feel bad at not being able to see her for a month (Aaron is going to come to Tehachapi). Finally, we have a very teary goodbye, and then suddenly I am alone with myself. It feels so permanent!

I busy myself with preparing for tomorrow. I am going to carry 4 liters of water, so I want to see if I can lighten my pack at all. Since I have had no appetite whilst hiking, slicing my food supply in half seems to be the best way I can cut weight. And I have plenty of body fat, I should be fine with less food all the way to Warner Springs. I also get rid of my bag of “Misc”, flip-flops, nighttime clothes (but keep the nighttime socks), and then slim down on odds and ends, like tampons, etc.

At night I spend my time on my phone: reading and posting blogs, Facebook, Instagram, etc. I text my friend Lauren. “I’m wondering where you are and what it is like for you right now…” she texts.

“I’m alone in a remote Mountain Cabin and feelin’ a little scaredy,” I tell her.

“I’m jelly,” she responds.

It’s true, I feel a little scared. The wind is howling outside. Alone in the cabin somehow feels more tense than alone in a tent in the wilderness. I imagine all kinds of terrifying scenarios, enough so that I become paranoid and decide to sleep on the couch in the kitchen area, so I can hear if anyone tries to come through the door. Just in case. And I set up the In Reach so that it is within reach, ready to hit that S.O.S. button. Just in case. And I decide to sleep with my knife. Just in case. And I know I’m being silly, but I think I’ll leave a light on. Just in case.

"Terrifying" cabin.

“Terrifying” cabin.